I Missed You Today

I missed you today.

But I miss you a lot of days.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this sorrow.

People keep telling me it gets easier. That time heals. That one day I’ll be okay.

But I don’t think that’s true.

I think this grief is permanent. This missing you is permanent. This ache in my chest where you used to be is permanent.

And I don’t know how to live with that.

I try to move on because I know that’s what you’d want. You wouldn’t want me stuck here, drowning in this, unable to live my life.

But moving on feels impossible when all I want is to go back. To when you were here. To when my world included you.

I try to move forward without leaving you behind.

But how do I do that? How do I build a life that doesn’t include you without it feeling like I’m forgetting you?

How do I be okay when you’re not here?

I don’t have answers. I just have grief. And love. And the unbearable weight of missing you.

I missed you today.

And I’ll keep missing you.

Every single day.

For the rest of my life.