From Me, With Love

I’m okay.

I know you worry about that. I know you wonder where I am, if I’m at peace, if I’m still somehow with you.

I am.

I need you to take care of yourself.

I know you’re not. I know you’re running on empty. I know you’re putting everyone else first and forgetting to eat, to sleep, to breathe.

Please stop. Please rest. Please be gentle with yourself the way you were always gentle with me.

I need you to stop carrying so much guilt.

Stop replaying the last days, the last conversations, the things you wish you’d said or done differently.

You did everything you could. You loved me the best way you knew how. And that was always enough.

I need you to let yourself be happy again.

I know that feels impossible right now. I know it feels wrong to laugh, to enjoy things, to have good days without me.

But please. Let yourself smile. Let yourself live. Let yourself feel joy without the guilt.

Because I want that for you. I’ve always wanted that for you.

Your happiness doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten me. It doesn’t mean you love me less. It doesn’t mean I didn’t matter.

It just means you’re still here. Still living. Still finding reasons to keep going.

And that’s what I want.

I don’t want you stuck in this grief forever. I don’t want my death to define the rest of your life. I don’t want you to stop living just because I had to.

Live for both of us. Love for both of us. Laugh for both of us.

And know that wherever I am, I’m cheering you on.

I’m proud of you. For surviving this. For getting up every day even when it feels impossible. For loving me so deeply that losing me broke you.

But you’re still here. And that means something.

So please. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to move forward.

Not because you’re moving on from me. But because you’re moving forward with me.

I’m always with you. In your heart. In your memories. In the way you live your life because of the time we had together.

You don’t need to hold onto the pain to hold onto me.

You can let go of the grief and still keep the love.

So, breathe. Rest. Live.

And know that I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I always will.